


noise

by vagarius



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24416788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagarius/pseuds/vagarius
Summary: As the headlines flash once more in his mind, Kazunari chokes out a sob.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	noise

**Author's Note:**

> i was gonna post anonymously using the anonymous collection, but then realized it would be easy to deduce that it's me. my compromise was using "registered users only".
> 
> EDIT: a couple months later, and i finally feel comfortable making this available to everyone... PLS NOTE THE TAGS BEFORE READING!!!

As the headlines flash once more in his mind, Kazunari chokes out a sob.

He had abandoned his phone a little while ago, chucking it up onto the loft bed before curling up pathetically in his desk chair.

_I want to help,_ he thinks. _I want to help._

But even just thinking about the slew of social media posts turns his stomach to knots, bile rising in his throat. He hugs his legs tighter to his torso. His head hurts.

Guilt and shame curl aggressively in his gut. _I want to help,_ he thinks again. _It would be so simple._ He just had to, he just had to…

His head feels fuzzy. The headlines flash again, and Kazunari swears his heart freezes in his chest, his entire body seizing as he stews in his own indecision. _They're gonna judge me._

More bile rises in his throat. He shouldn't be thinking like that. This isn't about him. It shouldn't be this hard.

His phone chimes from its spot on the bed, but Kazunari barely hears it. He feels sick.

_I'm so fucking ignorant,_ he thinks. _Why can't I just fucking do this one thing?_

_I can't deal with any of this._

_I want to die._

Kazunari starts shaking.

A minute or an hour later, someone knocks on the door. "Kazunari?"

_Yuki?_

Kazunari swallows. He opens his mouth.

No sound comes out.

He swallows again.

"Kazunari!" Yuki repeats, followed by a sigh of frustration. "Whatever, I'm opening the door."

Kazunari continues to shake.

Suddenly, Yuki is front of him, hands floating above Kazunari's shoulders. His eyes are wide. Kazunari can't stop shaking.

"Uh," Yuki says, still hovering. "I'm gonna – I'm going to get someone else, okay? I don't think I'm equipped to handle this."

Kazunari's hand shoots outward, grabbing Yuki by the wrist.

_I'm so selfish._

"I," he manages to croak, "alone. Don't."

Yuki purses his lips. "I still think it'd be better to get someone else. It wouldn't take long."

Kazunari shakes his head and tightens his grip. "I don't – "

His throat tightens. He wets his lips. He shakes his head again.

Yuki still seems reluctant, but Kazunari isn't sure what he would do if left alone, even for a minute. _I'm being selfish. I'm so fucking selfish._

_I can't do this._

Yuki stays with him. Even when he lets go of Yuki's wrist, Yuki stays with him. Even when the rest of Summer Troupe shows up, Yuki stays.

_I can't do this._

He's a horrible person. He knows he is.

But he stays, because tomorrow's Kazunari could be better.

He hopes tomorrow's Kazunari can do better.


End file.
